Pope o Matic

Posted on June 5, 2004


Is it me, or was Bush just the cleverest little pentecostal cracker figure-head of state this week with his surprise Papal drop-in visit. With Orwellian ease, Bush took the Pope’s on-going critique of the war and turned it into an endorsement of his now-you-see-it-now-you-don’t Iraqi exit strategy. Of course the headlines in papers like The Washington Post and The New York Times, would have you believe the Pope admonished Bush; in fact, the pontiff’s suggestion, that the US turn over power to Iraq and the UN ASAP, is already planned for the month’s end. In the worst case scenario, Bush will now only appear to have succumbed to the will of God, which should give him plenty of cred with the faithful come election time. In July, however, the Almighty and the Pope both may be disappointed to find that Iraq’s new proxy government and fall-guy UN peacekeepers are to be left holding the bag while the US continues to pull the strings behind the scenes. Not coincidentally, the new Iraqi Prime Minister, hand-picked by Iraq’s governing council of flunkies, itself hand-picked by the Bush Team, has graciously invited our men in uniform to stay awhile. On top of it, the putrefying pontiff gave Bush kudos on his right-to-life efforts; finally, Catholics can feel good about hypocrisy and colonialism again.

Speaking of putrefying agents of God’s will on earth, Ronald Reagan is dead. A moment of silence, please, for the man who brought us covert war in Latina America, trickle down economics, CIA sponsored drug trafficing, the seeds of Al Quaeda and a nearly endless list of additional atrocities; he will be missed, unfortunately. My only regret is that he did not die sooner; living to 93 certainly doesn’t make PURE EVIL seem like a lifestyle to be avoided. Granted he did suffer from Alzheimer’s so there’s still a good reason to believe in the Good God who’s down with the forces of niceness (as opposed to the Bad God who only loves advertising executives).

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